Dilemma

There’s a big chance that I’ll be sharing room with another girl next semester. Something I haven’t done in more than two years. And it already feels weird. Although I’m really accommodating and easy to live with, I have not really managed to have good experiences with most of my roommates from before.

My official ex-roommate and I never talked. She was one year my junior, and she never spoke! We would sit on tables that were stuck to each other and never talk. Only once, we had a conversation. When she was really scared for her exams. And we talked until 2 am. I had to tell her to go to sleep, and she still didn’t want to.  Next day, it was like someone gave her pills to induce amnesia. She didn’t even smile when she looked at me.

And now, it’s that time again. The only reason I am looking forward to it is that I want to measure how much I have grown up since then. It’s necessary, right? To be able to adjust, and tolerate, and have fun.

Just Another Engineer…?

Today is just one of those mornings. You know, where I wake up two hours later than I was supposed to, to a dirty table, un-washed dishes and loads of things on my ‘Things to do’ list. And then the first web page that I open on my computer is my blog, to see that my post from yesterday is gone!

I did publish it. But today it’s not there anymore. Vanished. Wow, the day has gotten off to a perfect start. Now I wonder what all will I find gone later. Surprisingly, all the scholarly readings that I am supposed to finish by today and be able to answer questions about tomorrow are intact, smiling at me in the most vulgar way possible.

And I tell myself that they are wonderful. Yes they are. The fact that I can understand them even after the introduction section makes me feel like an intelligent person. When I read them, I put on my glasses, get a cup of tea, and pretend to be deeply involved in my paper. I am going to be a scholar!

A few months ago, one of my friends, who is a Political Science student told me that the only reason he did not do engineering is because he did not want to end up as just another engineer. ‘But no one is just another engineer!’, I said, feeling utterly shattered. ‘Oh of course they are! Why do you think there is no “World’s Greatest Engineer?’, He replied, smugly.

‘Oh Lord! True there is no World’s Greatest Engineer. But you mustn’t underestimate the power of an engineer, you know’ , I was close to tears.

‘Oh, don’t worry, you are going to be a star!’

And then I pledged to myself to not end up being ‘just another engineer’. But it’s like a trap. No matter how much I enjoy my stuff, that thought keeps running in my head. But I have a long time before I finish University. Sure things would have changed! It’s just another thought.