A Love-ly challenge

April 26, 2008 at 1:18 am | In Lowe, opinion | 11 Comments

Maybe it’s the stress hormones because of exams, but everyone around me is falling in love. And what love it is! While trying to gulp down sociological concepts in the library the other day, I couldn’t help being distracted by the lovey-doveys sitting next to me, in front of me and everywhere else around me. So while my views on ethnocentrism are heavily splattered with the kisses that the girl sitting next to me received on her hair, cheeks, neck and where-nots, my take on Functionalist aspects of Racial Prejudice are convoluted with the too comforting back rubs that the guy sitting in front of me was enjoying. So I am only hoping that my sociology paper, which is going to be filled with flirtatious theories manages to catch my professor’s attention and  helps me get some marks on Monday.

I often find myself in situations where  I am thought less worldly-wise because I am not into mushy love. Honestly, I have no problems with people “expressing” love, however they want. It’s just not my thing. I only feel that pillow talk should be kept to pillows, that’s all.

Memories

April 22, 2008 at 10:10 am | In change, old stuff | 11 Comments

While taking a trip to the city a few days ago, I saw the Singapore Flyer, which is supposedly a younger sibling of the London Eye and is finally operational. My friends were debating with each other as to whether they want to go there sometime or not. I told them I have been on Ferris Wheel before, and this just does not strike me as my money’s worth. It was then that I was reminded of my childhood filled with cheap thrills at yearly amusement parks.

The first few years of my life were spent in an under-developed city with lots of filth, poor administration and a serious lack of technology. It was quite an experience, though. My day would start really early, when I had to go downstairs to get the milk. The milkman would actually come to our house, with his cow, and milk it right infront of his customers’ eyes. I had to go and stand next to the cow while he was doing that to make sure that he doesn’t mix water in the milk. I remember he used to sing cheap bollywood songs while milking the cow. When my cousins from Delhi told me that they can just slot some coins in a machine and get milk I would get fascinated and ask my father when that machine would come to our city. My father always replied with a ‘many years later my child’ and I would get sad.

Then my brother and I would get ready, have the yummy oily breakfast that my mother cooked, hop on the Rickshaw and go to school. I used to go to a convent school where all the teachers spoke English. I remember I wanted all women in my family to convert to Christianity because I thought you can speak English if you are Christian. During recess, my friends and I used to go to the school back gate, slip our hands outside and get snacks from roadside-food-vendors. Our teachers asked us not to get food from them because it was supposed to cause diseases. However, none of us got the disease, so we continued eating that.

In the evening we used to play on the unclaimed land next to my house. We used to constantly pray that it doesn’t rain because everytime it rained the field turned into a puddle with frogs croaking through the night, thus making it impossible for us to play or sleep. We generally used to play games that involved running around, if not hide and seek. Once in a while, someone would buy a plastic ball and we could play catch with it. Of course, the person who the ball belonged to would secretly consider himelf the leader of the group. After a few days, the ball would definitely fall into one of the open drains, and we would ahve huge fights because nobody would want to put his hands in the drain full of shit to get it.

My Grandparents used to visit us every now and then and my grandmother would bring freshly made Jams, Jellies and Pickles that were made from fruits that grew in their garden. They used to live in a smaller town where there is a huge temple and it is filled with pilgrims throughout the year, but espeially during Monsoons, the rainy season. When we visited them, my mother would always take us to the temple, which is really crowded all the time. I used to get scared of being smashed under someone’s feet in the chaos. Often I would come out crying but would become okay later since we ate spicy food from a place where my father used to eat since he was a kid.

Once in a year the whole family used to meet at my Grandparents place. The women of the house would gather together in the evening and cook dinner outside on an angeethi, which is lit up using coal and it takes hours for anything to cook on it. That was for the weekdays. On weekends we often used to cook meat which was cooked on another kerosene stove. They still have different utensils and cooking areas for vegetarian and non vegetarian food. I would invariably touch the ‘Vegetarian’ bowls with my ‘Non vegetarian’ hands and then plead to my mother to not tell anyone else. She never did.

Once in a year, a circus troop used to come to our city, and we always went to watch it. After the circus period was over, they used to put up an amusement park with small rides like the merry go round and ferris wheel, but never a roller coaster. The amusement park was called ‘Disney Land’ and I used to think it’s the same one that they have in Foreign countries. Every year they had a different theme but I remember only two of them. The first was Jurassic Park, which was very disappointing because the only Jurassic thing they had was a loser dinosaur head with red eyes at the entrance. Another time was ‘Monster’. That had a huge make-believe monster in place of the entrance, and it’s crotch was turned into the entrance. My father found it very funny. I remember I used to dress myself up for the amusement park, in my pink, frilly, frock, my black school shoes and socks pulled up to the knees. I always used to wear the sunglasses with the blue plastic frame that I bought from a paan-vendor just outside my house, so that in case I ran into a foreigner there, they would know that I could speak English and come and talk to me. Somehow wearing those cheap blue plastic glasses made me feel superior to the others. I would often quarrel with my brother when he would want my blue in exchange for his red.

We moved to a bigger city afterwards, and now I am definitely a city girl. But I cannot say that I don’t cherish those memories. Maybe I will go and ride on the Singapore Flyer, just to relive my Disneyland experience.

And now, it’s your turn..But you are me, and I am you

April 18, 2008 at 3:06 am | In Wonderment, change | 10 Comments

A few years ago, when i was a school student living in a hostel with infinite number of rules, we used to really curse the administration. The strict rules that we had to follow, about study-time, curfew, lights out, visiting other rooms and especially interaction with the opposite sex really got on our nerves sometimes. We used to sneak out and come back way after curfew, with the late leave form signed by one of us claiming to be “Rajesh Khanna”, or “Sanjay Dutt” (Everyone knows Shahrukh khan, even in this country, so we could never sign his name). Study hour was a time for conference in our room, which was shared by four girls. the essential gossip of the whole day was discussed then, and more often than never, we would laugh and talk so loudly that our voices could be heard in the office, which led to the boarding mistress come to our room and give us warnings. In the one hour break where we could go down before lights out time, around 20 of us, girls and guys, would meet to talk, and joke and plan the next outing. This was really fun, although we never failed to get eyed suspiciously by the persons on duty. At that time, we used to think that the grown ups were really mean and had nothing exciting to do in their lives. The truth was, that we were just a bunch of angry teenagers, who thought they had the world at their feet and could do whatever they wanted to.

And now, the tables have turned. I find myself as being labeled ‘the mean one’, ‘the pain in the you-know-where’ and ‘the one could cannot rest without making some students miserable’. My duty night, i had to counsel and punish people for coming in late. I was reliving my school years and , in a way, realizing how much trouble we used to cause the office and the people who are incharge of 200 odd rooms, who personally make an effort to go down to each and every room to check whether everyone is safe and paying attention to studies. But of course, I also know that there is no way to make these students understand that the slightly stretched rules are to make sure that their school days are safe and their parents, who mostly live abroad don’t have to worry about them every moment.

In a way, I think these rules, and breaking some of these rules are important. They taught me a lot about being courageous, and sticking up for my friends when I needed to. Rules show you that there are people who are concerned about you. When you are late, they get worried. When you do something wrong, you are not unwatched and you do need to be watched, especially if you are still in high school. I am getting to see my school days again, by stepping into someone else’s shoes. It’s funny how something that is so wrong when you see it from one perspective, is absolutely correct, when seen from another. Oh, I feel like I am a different generation from people who are just 5 years younger to me!

Changing Lanes

April 14, 2008 at 11:34 am | In Angst, change | 9 Comments

I have successfully survived the most terrible of all weekends! This weekend goes down in my journal. I slogged, for two assessments today morning, I was made to dance until every muscle of my body ached, I packed up and left my old place to come to a new one.

Remember how a few weeks ago  I was concerned about moving in with a roommate. Well, turns out there was something different planned for me. Suddenly sometime last week I got a job which, instead of paying me in cash, gave me a room to stay. I was only too eager to take it, given the ever-rising rents over here. They told me that they needed me to move in asap which was a little unrealistic for me because a day only has 24 hours. I said an unsure yes. And then I saw the room.

It was fantastic! My then current room looked like a cupboard under the stairs compared to my now current room. Although this one was out-of-campus, and I knew absolutely nobody here, I was excited to move. Thus, the day produced a few extra hours miraculously and I was all set to go to my new place.

And so, right now this is the first constructive thing that I am doing since I unpacked in the afternoon. This is one of the best things that could ever have happened. I am no longer tempted to go down at 2 am to grab a bite, because nothing is open. I cannot barge into anyone’s room, no one barges into mine. I don’t smell the barbecue from the party happening in one of the pits. I don’t hear drunk people coming back at 4 am. And I don’t get distracted by just looking at people walking up and down. You know what, I miss my old place, just this teensy bit.

Battle of the Sexes

April 10, 2008 at 2:41 am | In men, opinion | 13 Comments

I’ve recently spent a lot of time with a friend who is an ultimate male-basher. While yammering her complains about their competitive nature, she maintains that it is unhealthy for girls to be around them. Their want to be babied by women around them is unnatural and unnecessary, she feels. So, talking to her yesterday, when I told her I’d rather be competitive openly like guys than covertly use bitching and gossiping as my weapons like girls, she was taken aback.

“But girls are not like that!”, she said.

I laughed.

I grew up with two brothers, and they are my best friends. I played with their friends in the evening and ate lunch with them in school. We fought and patched up. When I go back home, they proudly escort me whenever I go out somewhere. They help me out with studies when I am stuck and refuse to eat when I cook. In school, I had my own group of girl-friends , but they all pretty much thought like me. Also, being a nerd stopped me from falling into the vicious gossip cycle among them.

Finally, when I went away from home, I got to meet and share rooms with other girls. This taught me a lot about the other half of the world. I have realized that women have extra-exaggerated emotion hormone glands. Every behavior of their friends, other people, people they don’t know, men, and non living things passes from under our critical eyes. If there is competition among two girls, it is not dealt with in a there-and-then fashion. It needs to wait. Some plans need to be made, some history dug out, manipulated and then presented to the rest in the most humiliating manner there can be. And this is universal. It does not matter which part of the world you are living in. Treachery runs in the female blood.

No, I am not siding with guys here. I am happy to be a female. Just that I can’t bring myself to be a part of the feminist propaganda. Come on, accept the differences. It’s because we are different that we are complimentary. I want my friend to imagine a world where men were like women. How long do you think mankind would last?

All my male bashing women friends out there, don’t think of yourselves as weak, but at least give men a chance. Accept it or not, half(actually a little more than that) of the world is them. Like them, or hate them, but there is no living without them.

Un-Comfortably Numb

April 6, 2008 at 3:54 pm | In Angst, Wonderment | 21 Comments

I am going to be 2* (hidden for obvious reasons) soon, and I’ve finally figured out what kind of a person I am.

I like to take up more things that I can handle, with ultimate enthusiasm, and then find just about enough time to tell people that I have no time to stop and say hi to them, thus eventually MURDERING my own social life. And this is not it. After all this, I will go around, behaving as if being puritan is the ‘in’ thing these days.

I am the kind of person who would stare greedily at the tea-stall but not spend seventy cents on tea because I am saving up every penny to be able to go back home without having to ask my parents for the money, but fish out ten dollars and give it to child relief fund at that very moment AND then debate with myself for half an hour about whether I did the right thing.

I can promise myself to eat lots of healthy food, only to eat instant noodles at night and pretend that ‘I’ wasn’t looking.

I am someone who can go with three hours of sleep every night for three weeks, then sleep for 8 hours one night, and be ready to start the 3 hour schedule again.

I can spend hours looking at one sentence in a book and not reading it. This, because of my attention span being less than half a minute.

I am a girl, but I am scared of stuffed toys, dolls, circus clowns and I don’t eat chocolates. If someone gifted me a bouquet of flowers, I would most probably refuse to take it. I weigh myself only during quintessential medical check-ups, and never in between.

I am human, but I don’t like pizza.

I am super insecure about time. I reach an hour earlier than required on airports, bus stations and train stations.

I carry the heaviest possible bag around on my shoulders, and my hands are still full of books and notes.

And thus, I am facing a quarter-life-crisis.

Different, completely different

April 4, 2008 at 12:23 am | In Engineering, early morning thoughts | 4 Comments

In my University, there’s always a clash between the Arts students and the Engineering students. While engineers believe that everyone thinks the same, the arts people refuse to believe it. I was one of those who used to believe in the same-thoughts philosophy. But 2 years and 4 Arts modules later, I have realized that Arts and Engineering students have completely different wavelengths.

We had a presentation for one of my arts modules, and we let my groupmate, who is from Arts do all the talking. That is because I could not understand a word of what he had written in the report. (Yes, we insisted that he write it, since he got an A+ for all his previous ones and we were REALLY greedy for grades). So, everything went well. And most people couldn’t understand his excellent, shakespeare-challenging english, so that kept us away from tormenting questions from the floor.

After the class, one of my friends congratulated me for coming up with something so nice. “Wow, you guys really did well. I lost you halfway, but that doesn’t matter. Man! I wish I had a vocabulary like yours!”, she said.

“Tch”, I replied “Dear, just like you, the longest word that I can use in a normal daily conversation, is ‘Microprocessor’.” She gave me an understanding look. And we walked to our next class.

*Sigh*

Little, Big

April 2, 2008 at 12:14 am | In Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Isn’t life so much simpler when you’re a kid. Someone asks you what you want to become in life and you have an instant answer. And you don’t feel shy in saying it, whether your answer is ‘newspaper boy’ or ‘rocket scientist’. The real thing happens when it’s actually time to become something.

if someone asks me today what I want to become after I graduate, I almost want to slap them. However, that not being the best thing to do, I eat up my ‘Mind-your-own-business’ and reply with a ‘uhmm I don’t know..maybe I ll just study more..”

Really, does adulthood take away your power to make desicions? Or does it make you so weak, that you cannot even stand up for things that are yours and yours alone to manipulate and handle. I always say that I don’t regret not being a kid anymore. But I regret having left that part of myself behind, the ignorant, considerate and free-of-worries part. When I see myself today, I see a self indulgent, cruel and worried girl. When I look around me, I see thousands like myself. Honestly, what is that precious that stops us from being happy to see each other anymore? Are we really adults when we stab each others in the back to get around certain things? (and all of us have done that, at some point or the other, we all know that we have) We see people but pretend not to have seen them, just because we don’t want to face them and talk to them. We are polite on the outside, but want to lash out our anger on people the moment we see them. And almost everyone hates it. But everyone does it.

It’s exciting to be an adult. To finally be ‘the generation’, to finally have expectations from yourself, to try to tell a right from a wrong and good from bad. I just wish smiles were tax-free again.

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