Lazy holidays.. and some other stuff..

I’ve been going through the blogger’s block recently. I have no one to blame, really. Since exams finished, i’ve done nothing much but miss my friends, watch movies, go for cycling trips, and plan about getting back to work.

I eventually did get back to my part-time. Thanks to my mother for knocking some sense into me and teaching me about ‘the real world’. Mostly, for reminding me that people need money to live. So yea. Back to work.

Although i must admit, my work now is not very interesting. I spent most of yesterday scanning paper, and so nothing exciting happened, except that the paper kept jamming the maching since i kept forgetting to take the staples off.

Of course, on the brighter side, while the stack of paper scanned itself, i got time to do soul searching, play senseless games on Facebook, read NewsWeek AND blog! Nah, i don’t hate my job at all.  

Which reminds me of what i was originally thinking when i started writing this post.  It so happens that i just made a ‘to-do-list’ for the holidays. (yes, i have a thing for lists) and that got me wondering. Well that, and an episode from Scrubs. How do you know whether THAT big step that you are taking in your life is the right one? How can you make sure that you won’t regret it two weeks later? Most importantly, how do  you know whether you will be able to “survive” it?

Like Elliot Reid, i also wish there was a test to tell you that. Where you could just enter your choice and it would tell you whether you are making the  right decision, buying the right dress or choosing the correct friends. I’ve taken a lot of huge steps this year, not knowing whether i will be able to pull through. Thinking back, i think i did manage to pull through most of them. Of course, i made my mistakes too. And as much i may wish for the otherwise,  i do realize that there is no way to go back and un-do my decisions.

There is, however, satisfaction in learning from from your mistakes. But really, what if there were no scope for another chance, another mistake or another decision? How are you supposed to know what the right thing to do is?

All kinds of time

And it’s that time of the year again. 

I guess I will miss those walks back from dinner when I suddenly burst into some old bollywood number. AJ giggles and M and A join me in my “Ek ajnabee haseena se.. yun mulaakaat ho gayi…“. When V gives me the you’re-so-pathetic look but sings along anyway. And when A aka Malgudi quietly smiles and walks along. I guess I will miss listening to and being a part of pointless conversations during dinner time, laughing and making people laugh with silly stories about my life. Just because it’s not often that I meet people who are interested to listen to how we danced when our codes worked.

I guess I will miss being called ‘Komal-anna’ , called after a silly character from a silly bollywood movie. I will miss being picked on for my Mogambo-ish laugh. I will miss my weekly movie nights with Mr Patel and Sidarf. I will miss funny- early morning breakfast conversations with my dance partner, S. ‘Maria moments’.Making Al believe that computer engineering is cool. Angry burstouts. P’s funny comments and angry threats to people who don’t shut up when it’s time to study. Getting hooked on shows with H and T. D’s singaporean accent and Ad’s you’re-so-lame look.  

I will also miss emo-ing around with AJ in my room. I will miss talking to V about the joys of writing codes. Of course, nothing can make me forget quiet An’s sarcastic yet priceless comments. 

But most of all, I’ll miss the loud bursts of laughter that makes the “Indian table” at the dining hall stand apart from the rest in the dining hall. 

Saying goodbye sucks. But i guess it makes us sweat the small stuff like these, which by the way, do matter. Life is funny. No one knows where this whole bunch is going to be next year, this time. But hey, there will still be good memories to look back at and good times to look forward to. All the best, guys!

 

**Takhliaaa** :P

PS: Although the bhindi and paneer invitation is always open, it’s okay if you don’t want to risk it with my cooking skills. Just come.. I am not running out of stories to tell :)

Why Nelld gets to be introduced on this blog

Because we both share some world changing common beliefs such as

• the wisdom of Homer Simpson
• the miraculous healing capabilities of Teh halia (ginger tea) from Cheese Prata Shop
• the wonders of watching an Akshay Kumar movie at the end of a tiring day
• the importance of being a little paranoid
• the love for Shiny Ahuja, DESPITE the name

Because we are split on equally important issues such as

• the literary capapbilities of Salman Rushdie
• the complications of life
• watching sad movies which are good, have a theme and impact your life
• going to libraries

And because Nelld is the only person who can get away with calling me “Kemell” , “Medley”, “my-crazy-little-genius” and “Komaldehyde”.

*Drumroll*

Meet my friend, Sonal. We are cool. Period.

Why I dance, even if I am not the best..

When you are on stage, with the lights shining at your face from all sides, trying to move in coordination with the rest of the dancers, doing your best to remember the correct sequence of steps, and making sure you land at correct position after four super fast spins, and all this happening at the same time, there’s nothing much that you can see beyond the stage.

But I did.

Last Saturday, at my dance performance, while trying to coordinate the ta-thei-tak-jhun of the music with my feet, I stole a glance at the fifth row from the front. When I saw the whole row full of my guests, my friends, and the bachcha-party, I was beyond myself with happiness. Most of them, complete strangers to Indian Classical music had come to support my group, see me in dance make-up, or watch whether I could leap across the stage in four steps.

While exiting the stage,  I couldn’t believe it was over. 6 minutes was never so little time. Backstage was euphoria. Some were happy that it was over, finally. Some were rejoicing their good performance. I was giving hugs to everyone, just for the heck of it. And then I ran from backstage to the lobby. With the bells on my feet going chham-chham-chham, my dupatta flying behind me, and me on the lookout for my friends who were waiting for me to come out to the lobby. If you have ever watched a bollywood movie from the 70s, you have probably seen the actress run across a field to meet her long-lost-just-rescued-from-a-daaku lover. I looked exactly like that. I swear. I entered the lobby and saw that there were people congratulating the dancers for doing a good job.

Yipeee!

And I met my friends. I got flowers! I know I’ve mentioned on my blog before that I don’t like flowers. I always tell people I don’t like flowers and I don’t know why people feel happy to receive it. I realized that day what bullshit that was.

I love flowers.

I just had to get them from someone else once.

City Lights

As a part of my “duty”, I have to go to each girl’s room in my hostel and take attendance. When I do that every week, I spend the longest time on the 11th floor.  That’s because I can see the lights of the city from that floor.

I love city lights. I love standing on over head bridges and looking at cars with bright headlights coming towards me and going away from me. I love looking at far away buildings that are matchbox-like HDB buildings by the day but turn into what look like a thousand chandeliers by the night. Everything looks different. Just different.

Sometimes when I am up late rushing a report or a proposal for the next day, I stop for a few minutes, stand next to my window and watch the traffic lights go red from green and back to red. Perfectly on time, unaffected by the absence of any traffic on the road. Sometimes I try to find a melody in the relentless switching of traffic lights, I try to imagine a certain song that the world might be trying to set itself to.

I like that silence. That is one moment when my brain switches off and forgets all the pending lab reports and tutorials, proposals and student testimonials, tickets to sell and next rehearsal dates. I think it’s good to blank out your brain sometimes. It brings me calm and makes me realize the value of silence in my otherwise chaotic and over-worked life.

On being a champion

You remember how when you were young and you could finish a math problem before everyone else in the class? You remember the feeling you got when the teacher gave you a star and a smiley face when you took your notebook to her? When the people who got it wrong came to you to ask how you managed to solve the question? When you explained your answer to them politely while thinking aye-haye-isko-to-itna-bhi-nahi-aata to yourself? When doing that small stupid addition problem made you feel like you had the world at your feet? Do you remember that feeling?

I had the same feeling again, today.

I hereby declare myself the champion of soldering.

My Conversations with Myself

In Singapore:

6:40 am on a Saturday morning: Aww.. what a beautiful morning.. go back to sleep.. 5 more minutes okay? mmuhhmm..aww.. thappad! Reality. Go work.

Amreeka:

530 pm on a Saturday evening: wow! I am waking up NOW! awww..what a beautiful evening..go back to sleep..mmuhmm..aww..*sleep*

Singapore:

1130 pm on Friday evening: Wow. wonderful break from the week. we can still do some adda-baazi by the sea. what fun! yes, let me ask everyone.woohooo. thappad! reality. Who will wake up at 6 tomorrow?

Amreeka:

5 am on a friday morning: Sheesh! We played cards the whole night? wow. okay 1 more game, just one more, I hope someone says it. ooh WOW!

Singapore:

11pm on a random day: waaah! meet people now? It’ll be fun! movie! lets go. lets go. lets go. thappad! reality. 3 term papers due tomorrow. get a grip.

Amreeka:

2 am on a random day: What? accompany people to PRINT stuff? NOW? Okay..:)

Singapore:

Two and a half minutes late for a social gathering: Oh no. I am late. I am late. I hope everyone’s not already there waiting for me. No no, how can everyone already be there? it’ll be okay. no problem. thappad! reality. Of course everyone IS ALREADY there. Think of an excuse. quick.

Amreeka:

Half an hour late for a gathering: Oh no. I am SO late. quick. think of an excuse. quick. quick. quick. oh no! wait. what is everyone saying? What? It doesn’t matter? Err.. I need to what? chill? WOW.

Singapore:

Weekend: Weekend? What weekend? Oh THAT? Don’t work? uhmm..well..maybe..thappad! oh yes. sorry.

Amreeka:

Weekend: Weekend! yayyy! weekend! chill! yayyy!

Singapore:

Life’s about: Must finish work chop chop. FASTER, can or not? Alamak! Wah liao lah you! Don’t walk fast you never reach anywhere, understand? Must do work. Must do CCA. Must have rainy day back-up plans. Must take out time to catch up with friends over lunch or dinner. Must not become dull with work. Take photo! Take Photo! thappad! right. thanks.

Amreeka:

Life’s about: work. chill. cheap pleasures. simple as that!

supercalifragilisticexpealidocious !!

My memories of Mary Poppins are fading away now but I do remember believing in flying nannies that come to your house and take you away on adventures. More than I did in an old man who climbs down chimneys and sneaks out after leaving gifts for you. Of course, Santa was not a part of a regular Indian household vocabulary when I was being brought up. But then neither was Mary Poppins, or Sesame Street (which I never regretted not watching. Preschool educational shows always manage to freak me out) for that matter.

When I was a kid, the lack of Nickelodeon and cable television forced us to watch shows on the national network. My most vivid memories of television shows are that of the hindi dubbed version of ‘The Jungle Book’. Set in a forest with animals bringing up a human kid (Mowgli), the show was full of adventures, emotions and comedy. Together my brother and I would enjoy watching Bagheera, Baalu and others kick Sher Khan’s ass. I remember we wrote down the lyrics of ‘Jungle jungle pata chala hai..’ and learned it by heart to be able to sing along with the actual song. It was awesome. Mowgli was our hero!

With time we graduated to other shows as well. But not so much as this one. I finally watched Mary Poppins when I was 17. I liked it. Of course, in the age when Bollywood was making strides with movies like Dhoom and Munnabhai, it was highly unlikely that I would be mesmerized by the effects or the creative storyline of Poppins. Nevertheless, it was an experience, to add to my childhood Jungle book adventures. My young cousins are getting a chance to grow up watching Ekta Kapoor shows along with Dora the Explorer. Of course they are familiar with Sesame street now. It’s a pity Bert and Ernie have to deal with being gay rumors along with educating kids about good values.

Anyway, I don’t know if my cousins will find the ‘Chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai’ song as funny as we did, but I sure do enjoy listening to it every once in a while. Of course, I can try to make them appreciate the innocence.. but baah! I think I should just let them be.