Look within

बुरा जो देखन मैं चली बुरा ना मिल्या कोय
जो मन खोजा आपना मुझ से बुरा ना कोय


“I wandered in search for the crooked, and I could find none,

I looked in my heart instead and found the biggest one”

Saint Kabir

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Thought for the day

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

– Charles R Swindoll

Source : Thinkexist.com

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We are all changing

I am slowly making my way through White Noise (Don Dellilo). For an award winning novel, it is amazingly slow. Or maybe my patience and passion are both slowly dying. Anyway, I am still determined to finish the book so I am dividing my time between White Noise and my latest copy of Newsweek (which surprisingly is really thin in this issue).

I was browsing through facebook yesterday when I came across some photos of people I was friends with some/long time ago. It was surprising to see that most of them are not in their initial cliques anymore. This made me think about the consistance of change in everyone’s life. How does everyone handle it? Do they even realize that change is happening? Do they just go with the flow and have no feelings about it? Are they happy to embrace it? Are they scared and cry under the covers every night? Will I ever know the answer to all these questions? I guess not.

I think of myself as forever-ready for a change. Yes I am. But I am also scared. I tread into unknown waters slowly. Not because I am scared of unfamiliar spaces but because I am hesitant to let go of the part of me that might change in the experience. Looking back, I realize that every time I embraced changes, it always turned me into something stronger and better. Not necessarily in everyone’s perspective. But that doesn’t matter. I realize that change is good and people do matter. But nothing matters as much as our own thoughts and our own relections. Things happen for a reason. Life takes twists and turns and we are all thrown off by the surprises. But as long as we think we are better than what we were yesterday. It’s all good.

No regrets :)

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Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

– William Ernest Henley

I usually don’t have the patience to read poems, but I came across this and was thoroughly inspired. Maybe I’ll read other of the poet’s works too :)

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Freedom Writers

I am currently reading “The Freedom Writers Diary”. The book has really touched my heart. Not because of its content, not because of the issues raised in the book. I love it because all those 150 kids took a stand. It takes guts to stand up and tell the world your opinion, your side of the story. Some of those stories were unreal for me. I could not believe that could happen to someone. And yet, I somehow felt proud that the person who wrote it gathered enough courage to accept it and tell the world her story.

It really is war. Someone being evicted from their house because they can’t afford rent. Someone being killed for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone in an abusive relationship. Someone who never felt any gesture of love from their family.

It takes time for us to realize that some of these things happen to people around us. We go about our lives not wondering what life the person sitting next to us on the train might be having. I often wish we had a way to know. But we can’t. But I know one thing we can do. Be tolerant.

Don’t you ever wish people around you were nicer to each other and treat each other with respect? I do. Every single day.

Can we do one thing? Can we be nice to just one person every day? Just one stranger. Just one smile? Because you never know what their story is.

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Dos and Don’ts

I find it really funny and kind of embarrassing to put this down in words. My life is a long list of dos and don’ts.

Do good. Don’t expect the same in return.

Do things on time. Don’t ever be late.

Make people smile, don’t make them cry.

Dance. Don’t be embarrassed.

Go ahead and smell old books. Don’t be embarrassed.

Laugh as loud as you want. Don’t be embarrassed.

Keep the good friends. Don’t hurt the bad ones.

Take life in your stride. Don’t be bogged down by small failures.

Be positive. Don’t give up hope.

Learn to sing. Don’t let others tell you that you can’t.

Cook everyday. Don’t expect it to turn out well everyday though.

Value criticism. Don’t let it pull you down.

Write. Don’t make excuses about writer’s blog.

Dream without limits. Don’t lose sight of reality.

Call people more often. Don’t get irritated if they go on and on about their lives.

Connect with old friends. Don’t remember old misunderstandings.

Smile. Don’t frown.

Love. Don’t hate.

Do you have your own list of dos and don’ts?

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What do you do when you are blue? Are you the kinds to tell yourself to snap out of it? Do you have a coping mechanism?

It’s Monday and I was was panicky and nervous. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t write, I couldn’t think. Around noon I gave up and decided to take a walk. Without an aim, without any thoughts. I walked around for an hour, not knowing where I was going. After my walk I walked back into my office. Calm, collected and happy. And with a new purple pen in my hand.

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Accepting my shortcomings

This is not a self obsessed post. If anything, it’s honest.

Until now I used to think that I am perfect. I have no flaws. Really, I am serious. 

30 minutes ago I was told of my only shortcoming. It took me some tears and a lot of guts to come to terms with it. 

I am too nice.

Some things you just gotta live with, right?

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You know what the problem with facebook is? It connects you to everyone, even people you never ever want to be connected to. You go set all your privacy settings, put yourself off the radar and one fine day, you still see names you don’t want to see on the suggested friends.

You just wanted to have some break from work! So now, instead of feeling relaxed and calm, You feel the urgent need to whack someone in the face. GRRMPH!

I am currently unsearchable on facebook. No one except my friends can post on my wall, or see my wall! The access to my photos, videos et cetera is only open to selected friends. I don’t know a higher level of boundary keeping on the website. And I’ve enabled all these settings just to keep my world separate from people I don’t want to cross paths with. But of course, facebook has to suggest them as my friends because we know a few people in common. I don’t want friend suggestions!

Right now, if I can find a way to disable friend suggestions on facebook, it will make my day.

Whacking someone in the face might work too.

Yea yea, deep breathing, calm down blah blah. I know all that.

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Change is good (?)

Do you think people ever really change? I have lived my life so far thinking that people, generally don’t change. Their inherent qualities stick with them, regardless of whatever additional skills they acquire. I also believe that in their hearts, everyone is good. Everyone has happy thoughts and everyone likes good things happening around them.

That’s why I also often wonder how there is so much hatred between people when everyone has good thoughts. My previous approach to life would force me to believe that people are just misguided, or there is a difference in my own perspective which is causing me to believe that there is hatred between people. However, I now think my whole theory might be flawed. Probably, everyone is not good at heart. Or maybe people really do change. Who knows?

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